Porcelain
by kalobuko
Summary: LNxZM and RPxHY song fic.


porcelain

  
Red Hot Chili Peppers  
_Californication  
  
  
_Ever since she was little, she seemed so precious to him, Noin said softly, like she was so fragile and defenseless.  
Fiona dusted off the dead remains on the tip of her cigarette and flipped her hair out of her eyes. She sure doesn't seem like it. She took a drag and blew the smoke out her nose. I mean, the girl was the freaking Queen of the entire world. She's got more stability than I do.  
But she's his little sister.  
  


Porcelain  
Are you wasting away in your skin  
Are you missing the love of your kin  
Drifting and floating and fading away  
  


Laughing, Fiona adjusted the necklass she wore and watched her cigarette smolder, the cherry beginning to lose its glow. My big brother wasn't ever like that. We had contests trying to see who'd beat the other the worst without giving mom a stroke.  
Zechs doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd ever let anyone know how he felt. Noin disregarded Fiona's pessimistic qualities. He has too many secrets, maybe he feels like he's no good or something.  
I wouldn't worry about him, Noin. If you hung off him any more than you already do--walking on your knees for his attention, glazing over like a jelly donut at his very words--I'd have to say that you were a tad bit over clingy and just darn obsessive._  
_   


Porcelain  
Do you smell like a girl when you smile  
Can you bear not to share with your child  
Drifting and floating and fading away  


  
The cold, stale waiting room seemed to creep in on Noin, as her companion, an old OZ training drop out and White Fang suicide runner, Fiona puffed at her cancer stick with no more care than she'd have shown when Zechs almost let Libra do a dive bomb on the earth. Noin crossed and recrossed her legs when sleep began to edge in, and found herself wishing that time would stop and begin to rewind to the past, when things were confusing, and she felt like she was really part of something.  
I think that she needs to be left alone, Fiona suggested, she's only a kid.  
Although it was strange to meet an old friend from the academy in a hospital, Noin felt at ease with Fiona by her side. She was the same one that she confessed her losses and woes and dreams to during their cadet training when it all seemed so fresh and patriotic to be a soldier.   
  


Little loon  
All day  
Little loon  


  
How long has he been in there?  
Noin didn't even check her watch. Four hours.  
Hey, I'm starving, and I know you are too, so let's go run to the cafeteria and grab something to eat. He's not going to miss you, you know? He'll probably stay with her until visiting hours are over.  
What if he comes out? I want to be here.  
Fiona stood up, stubbing the dwindling cigarette, and tucked in the back of her shirt. Always the renegade. I'm going. Do you want me to grab you anything while I'm down there? Coffee, tea, crackers?  
No, thank you.  
Oh. All right.  
She took the length of the waiting room in a few strong, loping strides and was soon out of sight. Noin watched the small TV on the far side of the room. Her stomach twisted and contorted, out of sorrow _and_ out of hunger.   
  


Porcelain  
Do you carry the moon in your womb  
Someone said that you're fading too soon  
Drifting and floating and fading away  


  
She's real sick, someone said suddenly, and Noin jerked her head to the left to see Zechs standing at the door. He'd given up his false death facade and behind the scenes work to stay by his only sister's side.   
A piece of paper fell from her lap when she stood up, and she kneeled down to retrieve it while Zechs walked over, rubbing the back of his neck.   
It was a picture of them both as newly graduated OZ pilots, saluting with hovering Aries suits in the background. Zechs looked at it from her hands and found her eyes. His were sad and glossy, and Noin felt her heart break over and over again in his gaze.  
Her voice didn't sound too even when she began to speak, What have the doctors said about her?  
They said it was the stress that brought it about, he sighed, sitting down, they said that she wasn't taking good care of herself when she collapsed at the meeting.  
  


Porcelain  
Are you wasting away in your skin  
Are you missing the love of your kin  
Nodding and melting and fading away  


  
Will she get better soon?  
He shook his head. Doctor Renn said that it would take a while. Her immune system is almost gone and her kidneys were apparently damaged when she was drugged during the Barton coup a few years back.  
She sat down by him. I'm sorry, Zechs.  
It's not your fault.  
It wasn't yours either, Zechs.  
A mutual hush passed between them, and their eyes became downcast. I think Heero should know.  
  
_I can't believe I just said that_, she rebuked herself mentally. I-I think Heero should know about her condition.  
Heero. Heero Yuy, Zechs repeated his name, images arising and flitting through his mind at the sound of his name. Why? She isn't in any sort of danger he could save her from.  
Almost sounding bitter, Zechs closed his hands into fists and looked out the windows that allowed a view of the inside courtyard, where Fiona sat on the bank of a fountain and drank a soda. Noin put an unsure hand on his thigh, daring him to face her.   
He loves her, Zechs. I've known it, and surely you've thought about it.  
Why on earth would Heero Yuy love my sister? He isn't interested in love, Noin. He's a soldier. Soldiers don't--  
A peculiar countenance on her face made him stop short. Zechs, you're telling me that you don't think it's possible for an _ex_-soldier to feel emotion?  
  


Little loon  
All day  
Little loon  


  
The picture in her hands, filled with memories. He remembered their time together, her always backing him up. Zechs closed his tired eyes.  
Not love, Noin. Fixation, intrigue, lust, but not love. Relena grew up, she got over her little, he paused, seeking the right words, _crush_, and...  
And got sick because of it.  
  


Little loon  
All day  
Little loon  


  
Zechs swallowed, if they love each other, why isn't he here already?  
Noin, feeling better now that Zechs was finally warming up to her, shrugged and smiled a bit. Her insides began to unwrap as he sent a tiny, almost impossible grin her way. You would know him better. You're both on a higher level of understanding than I am. Plus, you're both guys.  
  
Meanwhile, in Relena's private room, the heart monitor beeped as the linen curtains billowed with a breeze. Relena lay in her bed, pale as the sheets she lay on, with a breathing register in her nose and an IV in her arm. By her side was Heero Yuy, gingerly watching over her. He had almost reached out to touch her several times, but never followed through for fear of breaking her in this painfully obvious, delicate state. The lights were dimmed and Heero was alone, unnoticed.   
I'll protect you, he whispered, close to her ear.   
She took a deep breath, solemn and slow, the covers lifting with her chest as she did so. Heero fought his intuition and traced over the line of her hand before taking it within his own. He lifted it to his lips and gently kissed the top of her elegant fingers, before fleeing the room through his entry point. The window. He bid a brief goodbye for the day and rushed off the rooftop of the hospital just as the door opened in her room. Zechs peered in to check on his sister, Noin barely able to peek over his shoulder.  
he said, almost grunting with hesitant agreement, how do we find him?  
Noin piped, we'll figure out a way. She glanced up at him, his jaw set resolutely. I'm sure of it.  
Behind them, someone chuckled. Fiona stood in the waiting area, holding the left-behind picture that Noin had been keeping. She held it up and smiled at them. Some habits never die, she studied the picture again, for instance, you two _still_ act like soldiers. At ease, men, and open your eyes while you're at it.  
Zechs turned away from Relena's room.   
Noin nodded. Why don't we go get something to eat, Zechs? We can talk then.  
he began to differ, but with a sharp glare from Fiona, and a poke in the side from a nurse making her rounds, Zechs blinked a few times, suddenly befuddled.  
I'll explain later, Noin muttered sheepishly, and began walking, leisurely, out of the waiting room, with Zechs following in suit behind her.   
Even so, he didn't show it on the outside, but in the past few minutes he'd lost all coherency and allowed Noin to become mother duck to him as they boarded an empty elevator. The doors closed, and he caught her with rosy cheeks and a modest, almost bashful smile in the silvery reflective walls. It'd been a long time since he saw her like this, and yet they'd been working together for years on end.   
Porcelain is breakable, and yet comes to make up some of the most beautiful things. Like priceless works of art, those closest to us must be handled with the utmost care and a watchful eye. But when the upkeep is too possessive, sometimes the beauty must be broken to unleash the beast created in its wake.  
  


**The End  
  
  
  
**

Completed Wednesday, March 28, 2001.   
At 8:81 p.m.


End file.
